America It Begins

This sounds a lot better I read it allowed rather than in my mind, but I hope you still enjoy.

When it began it was supposed to be free
That's all that really mattered... Freedom
Freedom to live, love, and be happy.
Happy... a long time ago that was enough
Somewhere along the line something changed
Freedom was no longer the classic American value
It was replaced by competition or success
Democracy became merely a given, even an inconvenience.
Somewhere along the line prejudice became a norm.
Equality, a term thrown around by those too afraid to fight for it.
Some were better than others?
What makes you better? What makes you better?
A color, a dollar, a belief.
Arrogance, Arrogance, Arrogance.
We put ourselves on a pedestal of others broken dreams.
Eventually times seemed to change,
But the old problems were merely covered by a foil of lies
Prejudice stilled lived but under different names
Arrogance still haunted the halls of man
And the whispering seduction of success grew ever stronger.
Civil Rights came and went but legality never equated morality
The pedestal did not fall but stayed strong
On the streets of a small town to the top floor of wealth,
Freedom still existed as merely folklore
Secondhand information of a once great civilization
As times changed ideals barely did,
Even in this supposedly accepting age we still place a high value on apparent success
If you aren't the best you're the worst
Not top than bottom
Bank accounts a marker on a race that's not to be
Its not a race but a trip.
We all have the same destination but if I don't get there first than whats the point?
Its a damn shame... even that's an understatement.
Maybe I just want to be happy
Yes I just want to be happy
I just want to be happy
I want to live my way
I want to love, I want a family, I want a wife who reflects that love
Is that enough?
I think so.
Who thought in a country so advanced we must fight for a chance to pursue happiness
You're allowed to be happy
Crazy I know but true none the less.
Its your right no matter how basic and you must fight for it.
I guess I'm just preaching the ideals that once were.
A boy in the wrong time period.
A child of the past stuck in the present.
Maybe freedom is just a myth but I still believe.
I just want to be happy.
I just want to be happy.
America it begins.

Farewell Address

I want you to be happy, and I want you to be content with you life. That's all I ever wanted for you. You owe it to yourself to make your decisions based around your happiness. If you are gonna be happy with him go for it, even if it means I have to lose you in the process. All I'm saying is don't expect to be close anymore when things between you and him don't workout. I can't sit here and pretend that it won't effect me, because it will. But if you are happy than I will try to find some inner peace within that. It upsets me that this situation has to be taken to this extreme, but it looks like I don't have a choice anymore and from the looks of it you've already made your choice.

So we will both go on our separate paths in attempts to find ourselves, to find out who we truly are, and to find real happiness that we couldn't conjure in each other. We may get lost on our departure, never to cross paths again. Or maybe in time the roads may merge again, and only through this action will it be revealed to us how far we strayed away, and how courageous we are to journey back. Journey back not to our old path, to a new one. To a new path forged by our departures, rebuilt by our experiences, and rekindled by fate. 

But until that day you'll be gone, looking for your smile, looking for that happiness you've been lacking. Just remember, no matter what life throws at us that we have to keep our heads up, and keep moving forward. We may be on the correct track, but the train will hit us if we stop moving. NB

Shadow of a Celebrity

It is a man's natural desire to outshine others, and to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. In turn gaining attention and building self confidence.

The world and its people are fueled by expectations whether we made them for ourselves, or others made them for us. Without expectations for ourselves, without goals to reach, what do we have? We would do things half hearted, if at all. Motivation would be nonexistent, and we wouldn't take that that extra stride towards greatness as we would otherwise.

As people, we strive for individuality. We make our own choices, and live with our own consequences. This is something that cannot be taken away from us. Sometimes expectations others set for us become to much, and the only way to conjure up enough will to fulfill them is to come out of yourself. To become uncomfortable in your own skin. Expectations can be dangerous, they can make you do things you would not otherwise do and possibly turn you into a whole other person all together. 

Sometimes we have to fill in shoes that we cannot fit into, causing us to live in a shadow of somebody else. Putting you in a position where expectations for you are solely based off of this other person's choices and successes in their life. At this moment we become stuck in our inability to create our own expectations, because the bar has already been placed, forcing us to go down the same path that this person created for you. Any alterations made to this path will be examined under a microscope and most likely be labeled as wrong choices, leaving little room for error. We will either fold under these expectations and become a failure in the eyes of many, or we will adapt and change ourselves to meet these expectations and become a disappointment in the eyes of our own, and not finding true happiness within ourselves. 

Under the shadow of a celebrity we lose our individuality, we lose our confidence, and we lose our choice to be our own person. There will be a point where we will have to make a choice, whether or not we will accept this fate. You have to figure out what you value more, acceptance of others, or individuality and possibly inner peace. But remember, you are the one that has to look in the mirror everyday. -NB

Black Haired Girl

Black haired girl with tears in her eyes,
sighs at the world as the sunlight dies.
Loved by the many yet ignored by the few,
all shes ever wanted was her daily deserved due.
She used to be so full of life,
but now that confidence has been cut like a knife.
The twinkle has faded from her smile,
and none of her glimmers really stay for a while.
I remember the time when her like was on top,
but now her hair wipes her tears like a mop.
From years of happiness to years of toil,
it seems her dreams have spiraled down like a coil.
She been through a lot and she can't be to blame,
but her downward inflection left her friends feeling lame.
She used to be the friend who was the center of love,
but now she needs help from heaven above.
For all she has done she deserves so much more,
than people and strangers who treat talking like a chore.
She's had some tough times and that's broken her down,
but she still does have people who want to turn it around.
To many who love her she has turned into a ghost,
and these are the people who need her happy the most.
They want that old girl with that beautiful smile,
and maybe this time it can stay for a while.
She's a girl with a fight but she's never alone,
cause she got some people who wont let her do it alone.
We,ve been friends for a while and I love her a lot,
and she needs to hear this whether she believes it or not.
The past is the past but the futures ahead,
so smile at the hope as you rise from your bed.
I want that girl back who made me smile and care,
and I knows she's underneath all that beautiful hair.

Complicated Friendship (No Homo)

     Friendship is a complicated thing, very misunderstood and usually quite complex in its organization. This complexity perfectly describes one of my friendships. At a very basic level we are very different people, personality, appearance, and experiences. In all reality the fact that we are friends in the first place, breaks some codes of basic social standing. Don't get me wrong we share some interests, some nerdy ones in particular, but in general no, we are different people, and to tell you the truth, I think that's what makes our friendship works. The reason we have become such good friend, resides in the fact that we don't get bored of each other. We differ so much in so many ways that we really don't run out of things to talk about. To tell you the truth his personality is something I don't have in my normal group of friends, its a personality that directly contrasts my own. He heightens me to that high level of energy and emotional excitement that he always seems to have in reserve, and I think I ground him with my realistic approach. In this sense, our friendship makes sense, in a weird way I sometimes need that general good outlook on life, and I think that sometimes he needs the way I take him down a few notches. For some reason he comes to me for advice in his relationships, in which I have no real experience, and then gives me advice on subjects he knows very little about, but what the hell, it's funny and it works.
      Over the last few years our friendship has grown and grown into a relationship I kind of rely on. Although its a weird relationship with surprisingly little connecting us, he has become one of my best friends and one of the few people I actually feel as though I can honestly tell anything to. I respect him more than he probably knows and I could really never tell him any of this to his face but I'm glad that he might read this. No matter what he or anyine else believes, he is a good guy who I am proud to call a friend. -BF

Hidden Growth

An essay I just wrote for a writing contest: 

     Now is the winter of our discontent…, but why during this period do we agree to submit to the mundane ritualistic activities that turn such an already cold and depressing season into the disappointment that we now find ourselves engulfed? Winter has become a societal inconvenience, a time of the year in which all the incessant whining of the average Americans come forth in unity to decry the evils of this wicked season. The season does present a serious burden and a hazard to a few, but to most, it is a mere disturbance, which would not be missed if dissipated. The majority see the season as dark and depressing, outside of the intertwining holiday breaks and excursions. Sorry to say though, these pessimists see this season much too two dimensionally.

     When superficially examined, one would describe winter as the season of death and spring as the season of life and rebirth, however, this description does not do justice to the truth nature of winter. Winter does include the conclusion of a period of death, but as soon as this death concludes, a hidden manifestation of life establishes itself underneath the seeming desperation. This season defines rebirth more so than spring ever could. Although, the winter might kill the powerful oak tree, a small acorn grows against the odds ready to start the cycle again. In all actuality, winter exhibits the clam before a storm of developing growth. Winter may not have the glamour of spring but it deserves equal credit for the precipitation of rebirth, and for all those naysayers who still prefer a more externally beautiful season, the harder the tribulations of winter, the greater the reward of spring. -BF